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I expect you to die
Dec. 4th, 2018 07:52 pmWhen you live at the intersection of action movie genre beats and superheroics, you find yourself in a lot of death traps over the years. Blockbuster had seen so many he had a fairly thorough rating system and posted reviews online.
He hadn’t realized that villains read his review blog, which is how it had come down to this; waking up strapped to a table, below a glowing rock encased in some sort of glass orb mounted on a pole, while someone he -thought- he recognized as a friend’s ongoing on-again/off again romantic nemesis was standing there expectantly, wearing a comfy sweater over her usual costume.
(This was probably for the best. It was a bit chilly in the death trap and her costume wasn’t exactly built for cold endurance.)
Bill gave her a look. “I think you’ve got the wrong guy. I mean, that’s some petrified saint’s body part up there in the ball, right? You’re looking to catch Reliquary again and don’t want him just breaking out of the cuffs. ”
She nodded, flushing, and Bill recalled that she called herself Thessalonica, “The Witch of Byzantium” despite being a white woman in her twenties who as far as her Interpol records could determine, had never even been anywhere near Istanbul. “It’s meant for him! I mean, I’m not trying to cheat or anything-”
Bill didn’t even want to begin to unpack that statement, so just asked “So why grab me?”
“Well, Christine- you know, Christine Darling, the Neverlander? She reads your blog and says it’s really helped her figure out where she’s gone wrong with her other death traps.”
Blockbuster had, at this point, picked the lock on his cuffs.Which was fortunate as it allowed him to cover his face with his hand and groan. “Great. Just great. That’s definitely going to come up in the team meetings I don’t go to.” He sat up, and she hadn’t even really noticed yet. “Okay, so. What exactly is your goal for this trap? That’s the first thing. Do you want to kill him? Hurt him? Delay him while you finish another plan? Or just, uh…helpless and at your mercy.”
Thessalonica flushed again. “Uh. Mostly that last one. We haven’t talked in weeks, and I’m between schemes and he’s been so busy that…”
Bill held up a hand. “Right, right. Let’s…take it from the top then.”
He hadn’t realized that villains read his review blog, which is how it had come down to this; waking up strapped to a table, below a glowing rock encased in some sort of glass orb mounted on a pole, while someone he -thought- he recognized as a friend’s ongoing on-again/off again romantic nemesis was standing there expectantly, wearing a comfy sweater over her usual costume.
(This was probably for the best. It was a bit chilly in the death trap and her costume wasn’t exactly built for cold endurance.)
Bill gave her a look. “I think you’ve got the wrong guy. I mean, that’s some petrified saint’s body part up there in the ball, right? You’re looking to catch Reliquary again and don’t want him just breaking out of the cuffs. ”
She nodded, flushing, and Bill recalled that she called herself Thessalonica, “The Witch of Byzantium” despite being a white woman in her twenties who as far as her Interpol records could determine, had never even been anywhere near Istanbul. “It’s meant for him! I mean, I’m not trying to cheat or anything-”
Bill didn’t even want to begin to unpack that statement, so just asked “So why grab me?”
“Well, Christine- you know, Christine Darling, the Neverlander? She reads your blog and says it’s really helped her figure out where she’s gone wrong with her other death traps.”
Blockbuster had, at this point, picked the lock on his cuffs.Which was fortunate as it allowed him to cover his face with his hand and groan. “Great. Just great. That’s definitely going to come up in the team meetings I don’t go to.” He sat up, and she hadn’t even really noticed yet. “Okay, so. What exactly is your goal for this trap? That’s the first thing. Do you want to kill him? Hurt him? Delay him while you finish another plan? Or just, uh…helpless and at your mercy.”
Thessalonica flushed again. “Uh. Mostly that last one. We haven’t talked in weeks, and I’m between schemes and he’s been so busy that…”
Bill held up a hand. “Right, right. Let’s…take it from the top then.”
